Three Strands - Where Does God Fit Into Your Marriage

I can hear a groan rising up right now – UGH!!!.....Some people do not want to talk about God, and it can be for a variety of reasons: they were raised where people kept God to themselves, or they had hypocritical upbringings where what they were told, and what they saw, did not jibe, or they’ve never really taken the time to find out what they really feel about God and where He fits in their life.

Whichever reason is yours, this is one area that you should think about before you get married. The months after your wedding—also known as the newlywed phase—are an exciting, wonderful time for couples. You’re still basking in that post-wedding glow and beginning to figure out how you and your partner are going to work together as a married couple. Depending on whether or not you lived together before your big day, there may be lots of practical things to figure out: What would you like the temperature of your home to be? Who will be in charge of what chores? Who’s going to pay the bills or buy the groceries?

Many couples do not discuss how they will worship God (or not worship God). This eventually can turn into big problems in the marriage. Spouses nag, argue, beg and plead, and then eventually start to leave their partner behind as they attempt to nurture their own spirituality. The gap gets wider and marriages begin to break down. If there are children

involved, this spills over into the family and children take sides. Again, detrimental to the family.

The conversation about God should occur before you say “I do”. There are many things that you will have to compromise on but the term “equally yoked” really does matter when it comes to God. Here are some ways to make this transition into new religious practices easier on the couple and the family:

Take time – real time – no television blaring, phone texts or children vying for attention – to sit down and talk, really talk, about your beliefs. If your partner feels this is not important – and it’s important to you – Warning! Warning! People don’t magically change after they walk down the aisle. If you go to church two to three times per week, and he goes on Easter and Christmas only, you need to have a serious conversation and both sides have to compromise. That may mean you going once per week, or once every other week, and he joining you once a month.

Once you agree on a religious life together – be united in front of the children. Don’t make your spouse out to be the bad guy because she doesn’t have your exact beliefs. Make decisions out of the earshot of the kids. They need to think you both agree on the family rules – even if you don’t – so that they can buy into it as well. It will keep everyone happier and your whole family will be better off!

Peace and Blessings to Your New Union!